Velocity equals speed. Therefore, the title of this week’s movie, The Velocity of Gary (1998), implies that Gary goes a certain speed. How fast does Gary go? Where is Gary going? Or perhaps most importantly, why is Gary the title character? This star-studded, lackluster fiasco answers none of these questions as it slowly carves out a gaping hour-and-forty-minute-long donut hole in our lives. Join us as we analyze Vincent D’Onofrio’s kissing technique, provide some questionable shading for Salma Hayek’s character, and mock Matt’s back stock of replaceable bidet tubes, this week on Ex Rated Movies!
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Extended explorations into the mines of Bad Gay Movie Mountain can have unintended consequences, such as lowered quality expectations and alcoholism. We begin to exhibit symptoms of both these side effects as we tackle the objectively crummy yet (relative to the rest of this season) comparatively competent, Into the Lion’s Den (2011). Tied with Chinatown and Mulholland Drive for Matt’s favorite movie of all time, this toothless thriller/horror about a small group of city gays discovering a deadly manifestation of rural homophobia struggles to capture or explore the paranoid fear of the promising premise. Join us for an ASMR-off, a lot of time with Johnny’s cadaver, and slurred words out the wazoo this week on Ex Rated Movies!
Matt and Ryan have been mining the mountain of bad gay movies for queer cinematic gold since Blockbuster Video and KaZaA were a thing. Their unquenchable desire for well-made representation has led them down perilous shafts of terrible dialogue, mediocre production values, and atrocious acting. To kick off an entire season of bad gay movies, Matt has chosen the dystopian, sci-fi romance, Altitude Falling (2010) and oh boy, is it a doozy! Join us as we discuss unconventional shoveling methods, Ghost-ing with bread batter, and whatever the hell a gungoozler is, this week on Ex Rated Movies! (Brought to you by Velveeta® and Clamato®.)