For the penultimate episode of our season of bad gay movies, Matt opted to take the silly/stupid route and chose the 80’s slasher homage, Frat House Massacre (2008). And while the movie contains plenty of shirtless fratheads paddling each other’s bare bottoms, Ryan remains unconvinced that the movie actually qualifies as gay. We’re pledging Delta Ipselon Elpha this week as we lament the movie’s joylessness, become enamored with a door, and dream up some dating app profiles for the democratic presidential candidates, this week on Ex Rated Movies!
Velocity equals speed. Therefore, the title of this week’s movie, The Velocity of Gary (1998), implies that Gary goes a certain speed. How fast does Gary go? Where is Gary going? Or perhaps most importantly, why is Gary the title character? This star-studded, lackluster fiasco answers none of these questions as it slowly carves out a gaping hour-and-forty-minute-long donut hole in our lives. Join us as we analyze Vincent D’Onofrio’s kissing technique, provide some questionable shading for Salma Hayek’s character, and mock Matt’s back stock of replaceable bidet tubes, this week on Ex Rated Movies!
Due to our complete immersion into the genre of bad gay movies this season, the Overton window of what defines an acceptable movie has shifted. And while we may now think that this week’s selection, The Trip (2002), is a bland-but-fine romance, we’re still wiggin’ out over the generic insults, the lack of chemistry between leads, and the terrible terrible wigs! Wig sins notwithstanding, this movie boasts a strong supporting cast, some decent cinematography, and a star-studded soundtrack. Join us as we envision an Alan and Plant comic series, slather some love on Alexis Arquette, and slide into an imaginary producer’s chair, this week on Ex Rated Movies!
Extended explorations into the mines of Bad Gay Movie Mountain can have unintended consequences, such as lowered quality expectations and alcoholism. We begin to exhibit symptoms of both these side effects as we tackle the objectively crummy yet (relative to the rest of this season) comparatively competent, Into the Lion’s Den (2011). Tied with Chinatown and Mulholland Drive for Matt’s favorite movie of all time, this toothless thriller/horror about a small group of city gays discovering a deadly manifestation of rural homophobia struggles to capture or explore the paranoid fear of the promising premise. Join us for an ASMR-off, a lot of time with Johnny’s cadaver, and slurred words out the wazoo this week on Ex Rated Movies!
When a homogeneous group of privileged white gays decide to spice up their milquetoast mountain getaway, Matt and Ryan find themselves in the strange position of relating to the spacey caricature of a yoga teacher. 3-Day Weekend is one of those earnest dramas that desperately tries to be an updated Boys in the Band, but winds up being a tragic amalgamation of forgettable characters, questionable motives, awkward blocking, Lilith Fair-fodder music, green-screened-lookin cinematography, and atrocious attempts at humor. Join us this week as we love on Liza Minelli, hate on Grandpa Joe, and put the E in yogi this week on Ex Rated Movies!
The mines of Bad Gay Movie Mountain can be a treacherous place. Certain areas should only be explored by the most experienced miners and even then, only with the proper equipment and fortitude. Deep within the cold, caliginous gloom, A Siren in the DarK (2008) exists, waiting to test the limits of what Matt and Ryan are willing to sit through. And while the nature of this ghost story/police procedural/soft core porn remains amorphous, we can be certain that Matt’s forthcoming Tingle-esque fan fiction will provide the shading the SITD universe deserves. Join us for some meaningful eating, a very important pressure cooker, and Brother Cane’s big comeback, this week on Ex Rated Movies!
This week, Matt decided to eschew the parameters of the agreed-upon theme, and chose a gay movie that’s actually good. As the title suggests, Pornography: A Thriller (2009) is a dense dark dive into a world of Eyes Wide Shut-style snuff theaters and Mulholland Drive-style porn industry pie-eying. Made for practically nothing, this rare Bad Gay Movie Mountain gem is bursting with style, talent, and complexity. Oh, and the guys are hot, too! Join us as we gush about porn holes, straights who know their gay porn, and practically everything else about this movie, this week on Ex Rated Movies!
It probably goes without saying but the lovable rogue is an archetypal character that Matt and Ryan can certainly “get behind.” And while Dean, the lead character in Testosterone (2003), is supposed to be one, he seems to be missing the lovable part. This messy failure of a movie about a lovelorn psychopath who travels to Buenos Aires in search of his missing lover is only briefly salvaged by one glimpse of David Sutcliffe’s butt and a few choice lines from Jennifer Coolidge. Surprises always happen as we continue our journey through the mines of Bad Gay Movie Mountain the week on Ex Rated Movies!